The Ultimate Sacrifice: Don’t Ignore the Regret
Sacrifice: |ˈsakrəˌfīs| (noun) – the act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy
As someone who has been in a relationship with the same person for over six years, I have a lot of experience and opinions regarding the way relationships are handled. I believe there are exceptions to every rule, couples counseling/mediation does help, you can’t let others dictate what you do in your relationship and most importantly every relationship and every person is different.
You hear the word ‘sacrifice’ used a lot in long-term relationships. But do we really understand the term? I’ve noticed that people have different definitions of what sacrifice really means. In a nutshell, to sacrifice is to give up something of value for something else that you view as more valuable. More often than not, sacrifices are not mutual. You’ll find that one party in the relationship is sacrificing more than the other and that opens the door for hurt, resentment and bitterness…especially if the other party doesn’t appreciate the sacrifice.
In my case, I’ve made sacrifices that in retrospect, I wish I never made. I regret these sacrifices because they weren’t mutual and they were way too much of a sacrifice for my age at the time. Regret is OK because sometimes it’s that reminder you need to adjust your behavior in the relationship, but only if you don’t ignore it.
I think women make the most sacrifices in relationships and most of the time we’re sacrificing us. Unfortunately, we end up sacrificing ourselves because we don’t understand what sacrifice really means. And when I say us, I mean our feelings, needs, wants, dreams…you know the rest. Prior to writing this post, I had a good idea of what sacrificing meant but to see it defined so simply and with the words they used, I realized that sacrificing myself is the ultimate sacrifice.
What can be more valuable than me? What is more important than my feelings? There is nothing more important than that. And furthermore, your feelings should never be sacrificed for anyone – no matter who it is, no matter what type of relationship it is (romantic, family, co-worker, etc.). We as society have gotten very selfish. There is a way to put you first without hurting or being rude toward the next person. You have to find the balance and common ground. Your feelings are the most important thing to you, but that doesn’t make the next person’s feelings any less important or worthy of consideration. It’s all about balance.
What is your experience with making sacrifices?
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**(Written and submitted by Jessica Simien; President and CEO of J. Simien Public Relations.)
Connect with J. Simien: Twitter – @_sincerelyJESS_