Everyone has been there. Experienced that. Been hurt by this. Hurt by that — and it all revolved around those little pesty “trust issues”. Decide that you no longer want to battle with that thing called trust.
Believe you deserve love…
…and everything will be just fine.
I’ve had my share of dating over the last few years. Some with some really great guys — others, not so much, but you know what initially stopped me from moving forward? Yep. And after awhile, I realized that what ultimately needed to happen was a simple healing process. It needed to happen for me. And that’s what I allowed to happen. And so it happened.
Now, I’m not saying that I’ve completely healed from pain and hurt, because those emotions — those memories, will always live in your heart; but I have healed enough to where I’m ready to love again. Even after the most recent heartbreak, I know that I deserve love and I deserve to be loved by someone who loves me right back. Everyone deserves it. You have to believe that not everyone is the same. Not everyone thinks alike. Not everyone has shady motives. Not everyone lives a life of lies, deceit and betrayal. Even the men/women who appear to be “the best you never had”, or have that “something” about themselves you believe to be honest + real — sometimes can end up being 100% wrong for you. I’m a living witness. But you will have to sort out those conflicting setbacks on your own.
What is it that messes with your head so
damn much? Work it out.
Are you battling with trust? Here are some ideas that may help you rebuild & discover love again:
- Allow healing and live a healthy + spiritual lifestyle.
- Get to know the other person on a friendship level first. Don’t automatically “jump” right in. And especially don’t mention the “R” word 2-4 weeks in. (relationship) = don’t rush it. You MUST establish a friendship. Take it slow.
- Don’t always be willing and available. Think before acting. Plan purposefully.
- I always give this as advice for friends: don’t talk to several people at once. You know what that leads to? CONFUSION. How in the world are you going to allow emotions to take over, naturally, if you’re talking to all these people? You won’t know which emotion is for who! And when that happens, you will tend to give in too easily. Meaning, if one person ain’t acting right, there you go — writing a text message to the other person. No! Stop that. Allow yourself to become emotionally attached to one person at a time. It doesn’t take months to know if he/she is fit for you. If they aren’t, keep it moving, on to the next. Only when your heart is ready. And don’t you engage in emotional activity if THEY have others. Know your worth, keep your standard. Never be #2. Ever.
- Be honest when getting to know each other. And remain honest on all levels. What are you scared of? Just be honest.
- COMMUNICATE. And don’t settle for only texting. Do you honestly think that you can truly get to know someone via texting, only? Come on now. Connect verbally as well.
- Don’t have high expectations (or any expectations for that matter). Go with the flow & take it day by day.
- Seek God and he’ll direct your path in the best ways. And that’s not just limited to relationships, but your life as a whole.
- Don’t turn your feelings and emotions towards social media. That’s the #1 cause for confusion, break-ups, and allowing others in on your personal life so they can create unnecessary drama. Social media is NOT meant for that. Leave all that stuff for you and only your friend/significant other.
- Lastly, you must certainly NOT decide that everyone (male and female) are all alike. After you heal, learn to love another. No love is the same love.