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Anonymous Writer | What Should I Do In a Time Of Chaos?


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Some people have to face one hardship in there life, for example, cancer, weight gain, alchoholic parents etc. While others have several back to back problems and struggles. I have countless random problems every day of my life, why? I don’t know. It all began when I grew up with a narcissistic father who treated me like I was not worth loving unless I was perfect at everything.

When I was in middle school my mom and dad split up and long story short, although I do not keep in contact with my father he continues to harass me as well as my mom — to the point of abnormal stalking. My brother became a meth addict, my sister became an alcoholic, and my mom is doing her best with everything while trying to open up her new shop. I can tell she’s depressed but trying to stay strong and give us kids all she can with no insurance and a tiny amount of child support money.

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I got offered a soccer scholarship to a community college but I have gained a ALOT of weight from post surgery (broken tibia rod and screws removal) and only have one month to get into tip top shape. But my home environment is unhealthy to live in while in college and focussing on school and soccer is impossible with 2 siblings that can come home at any time and destroy the house in a drunken rampage.

I have a part time job and am trying to save up enough money to move out. Being extremely out of shape, broke and depressed is wearing me out emotionally and physically. I dont want to have to go to practice and be humiliated because I can’t run even half of what everyone else times in practice. I don’t think i can do it anymore, especially with everything that’s going on. I jut want to move out of my home state and not have to worry about my crazy family and be stressed out with everyone else’s problems.

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Should I take my fall term scholarship or should I moved out of state and save up money and go to college there? Please try to really put yourself in my shoes. I’m really torn and need an outsiders opinion and view on the matter. Thanks for reading. I appreciate it. :)

-KW

(To submit your anonymous story, visit Anonymous Writer)

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Comments

  1. Hi KW,

    First off, thank you for opening up to us with your story. One thing I learned is not to run away from your problems, although leaving your state seems to be the easiest thing to do. Interventions are real and they help – consider that for your siblings. Give them some understanding of that not being the way to go. Make amends.

    As far as school, live out your dreams! If you’ve been blessed with a talent, girl do what it takes for you to have fun while doing what you are genuinely good at. One thing that I use for therapy & as a de-stressor IS exercising. Make that YOUR time. Put on some good music, sweat, and things will begin to improve, physically. Eat CLEAN food and amazing things can happen in one month — you just have to be consistent, proactive, & love/believe in yourself.

    It will work out in your favor. Sometimes you have to go through struggles to safely land at the good part of life. Embrace this, become stronger, and most importantly, these are the best years of your life. Don’t let anything stop you from LIVING. Not even your siblings. Do what you want to do. Keep supporting your mom. Work it out, and if you still feel the need to move away, do it on a GOOD note. Hope this helps.

    Blessings,
    Charli D. Holbrook
    Editor-In-Chief

  2. I agree with the above poster. If you move out of state you’ll most likely have more trouble trying to pay for living expenses etc. It will never be enough. And it’ll make it harder to go to school and all you’ll think about is “I wish my family was different”. You can’t change your family but you can change how you live YOUR life.

    And for the soccer scholarship congrats! Not everyone gets one of those. You’ll regret not taking it. If you really want to do soccer try your best to loose the weight. Explain to your coaches your situation, they may even be able to find alternative housing for you if home life is too much for you.

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