“You guys are so cute together. Is that your boyfriend? How long have you two been married? “
You’re smiling, thinking that’s so amazing that someone would think that, but you quickly lose the smile when you realize he’s responded with an abrupt:
“Oh no. This is just my friend.”
You feel like you’ve been hit with a pile of bricks. What’s so wrong with you that he wouldn’t want to claim you as such? (Yes, this has happened to me, unfortunately).
I’m pretty sure we’ve all at some point been called someone’s little friend/boo/bae/baby/cut buddy. Sometimes it works out for both parties, because they have a mutual understanding of their situation. The problem is that the “situation” is an extremely temporary state. Someone is going to catch the nasty “feelings disease” and then spew it out all over the other person—who is avoiding it like the plague! So what happens next? This is where it gets ugly, so consider yourself forewarned.
Symptoms of jealousy, possessiveness, awkwardness and clinginess begin to arise. That crazy ex-girlfriend becomes a real thorn in your side, instead of someone you can just wave off like it’s not your problem. Those random phone calls/texts that come through during your time together really ignite your curiosity. That overly flirtatious waitress when you’re out grabbing a bite makes you want to punch her in the face. You want this person around more than usual, BUT, you don’t want to scare them away. To make it known or keep it a burning secret, that is the question?
Ok, so let’s say you’re a bold one. You’ve outed your true feelings and now you’re hoping that he feels the same way….and if you’re somewhat crazy, you’ve bombed him with the L word. Awkward silence. He really likes you, but isn’t ready for a relationship. He feels like titles are unnecessary. He says he likes what you all have going on. Oh, but what about this one…he says “thank you” when you say you love him. What could be worse? A lot of things if you ask me.
At this point, you’ve got to decide whether you want to be a boo or a serious girlfriend. If you value yourself the slightest bit, you’ll think it’s a complete insult for someone to keep you in the friend zone when you KNOW that you deserve better. A huge piece of advice I wish I had taken during those little instances–don’t give away all the milk and then expect someone to buy the cow. What the hell for? If he’s getting all the perks of a relationship without any obligations, he’ll drag his feet about taking on that responsibility as long as you let him.
Know your worth.