Advertisements

Love + Relationships | Don’t Let Distance Limit Your Dating Options‏


loveandrelationships_logo

You’re on vacation or at a friend’s wedding and you FINALLY meet a great guy. He has all of the qualities you want in an ideal partner except one. Unfortunately, Mr. Wonderful lives in another state and is therefore “geographically undesirable.”

Popular media including the Huffington Post and a recent episode of the hit HBO series Girls portrays classic examples of a choice faced by many millennials in particular. In her popular HuffPo column, writer and millennial Nadio Cho, bemoans the downside of long distance relationships. Yet Cho also acknowledges that two young people with separate career goals will likely find themselves separated at some point. In Girls the main protagonist Hannah, is accepted into a top writing program in Iowa while her boyfriend has just gotten his first big break on Broadway.

relationships3Please contact us to have this photo properly credited or removed. Thank you

Many women still think distance is a deal breaker for a relationship. But more and more couples are choosing to live apart for days or weeks at a time for reasons including jobs, family and finances. These super commuter couples demonstrate that successful relationships CAN and DO work with the right attitude, a lot of love, and a bit of creativity.

If you find yourself daydreaming about that perfect guy 1000 miles away, it may not be just a dream. You don’t have to give up your dream job or graduate school to invest in this new relationship. You can instead become a super commuter.

In her new book Super Commuter Couples: Staying Together When a Job Keeps you Apart, therapist Megan Bearce provides pragmatic and actionable guidelines for those couples navigating through a super commuter relationship. Bearce, one half of a super commuter couple herself, demonstrates how love can survive and thrive despite distance. In fact, for an independent young woman distance can have some very strong benefits, including more time to spend with your girls and keeping your living space the way YOU want it.

relationships2Please contact us to have this photo properly credited or removed. Thank you. 

If you decide to go for Mr. Dream Guy, there are a few ways to keep the romance alive. Here are a few tips from experienced super commuters:

  • Focus on why you want to be with each other. Make a list of why your relationship is great and read it when times get tough, or you feel lonely.
  • Be open about expectations. Each of you needs to be honest about what you want from the relationship while apart. Is it a daily phone call? Flowers? A date night, just the two of you sans friends, when you first are back together? Revisit these, as feelings and responsibilities may change.
  • Plan staycations. If one of you is traveling back and forth on the weekends on a regular basis, it’s hard to find time to get connected in that particular city. Plan a weekend to stay there and be a tourist. It’s a great way to get a glimpse into each other’s lives and for both of you to take advantage of life in a different city.
  • Get creative. Snapchat or text hints of what might await your next rendezvous. A photo of the edge of your pillow and a silk scarf? A reservation at your favorite restaurant? Find out what gets his motor running!

With estimates as high as three million, super commuter situations are becoming more and more common. Finding a good partner is hard, don’t let geography rule out the one that may actually be THE ONE.

MeganBearceMegan Bearce is a licensed marriage and family therapist and the author of Super Commuter Couples:Staying Together When a Job Keeps You Apart (Equanimity Press, 2013). Ms. Bearce is a sought-after speaker and writer on topics including workplace trends and families, gifted girls, and women’s issues. Ms. Bearce lives in Minneapolis with her super commuter husband and their two children.

**Special Thanks to our media partner, Bonnie Harris (Wax Marketing) for press release!

charli_sig

Advertisements

Comments

  1. Hi! Thanks so much for sharing my article! Just a quick FYI the hyperlink to my book isn’t working. Have a good one!

Parenting + Motherhood | 5 Easy Nesting Nursery DIYs


When you find out you’re expecting a baby, besting is a natural part of the experience. Suddenly you want to clear out, redecorate and get cosy ready for the new arrival. A big part of that is creating your child’s nursery. It’s the first step towards getting ready for your new family and creating a […]

Lifestyle | Body-Positivity + Confidence Tips For the Growing Gal


If you’re not happy with the way you look and are not 100% confident in how you feel — you won’t be the first and you certainly won’t be the last. We live in a society where we’re judged on how we look; the clothes we wear, the make-up we put on and the size […]

Love + Relationships | Get ahead In 2018 With These Dating Tips!


The dating landscape has changed tremendously. An old practice that we value has been changed by new dating practices. It does not mean that we just shove those old dating tips taught to us by our parents. It can still be incorporated to develop your rock-star dating list for the year 2018. This is a […]

%d bloggers like this: