Is there a woman alive who hasn’t ever had the sneaking suspicion that a partner has been playing away from home? It might just be the smallest smidgen of doubt, or it could be years of evidence you have collected. Either way, the way you react is important. What if you’re wrong? You could be about to throw everything you have built together away.
With all this in mind, I thought I would reveal three of the most common mistakes you can make when you suspect your partner is cheating. Take a look and see what you think – and I would love to hear your thoughts.
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The instant blow up
Humans can be impulsive – especially when they feel threatened by something. So, if you have suspicions, try and wait it out until you are calm and can talk about things. OK, so your partner comes home late at night smelling of perfume or aftershave. But it doesn’t automatically mean they have been up to no good. Sure, it might be unlikely they are innocent, but tearing into them before they have had a chance to explain themselves isn’t the best thing to do.
For a start, they will automatically go on the defensive – whether or not they are guilty of cheating. And, because of the anger and tension in the room, you just aren’t going to believe them anyway. So, your best bet is to wait it out, think about your approach, and bring it up at another time. In a calmer situation, you have more chance of finding the truth.
The overblown response
OK, so when you suspect your partner of cheating, you are going to feel wounded. And, that’s going to exacerbate your response in a big way. When you aren’t in the best frame of mind to deal with something, you aren’t going to make the best choices. Perhaps you want to confront the other party in the suspected affair. Or, maybe you’ll find a private detective to do your digging for you.
The trouble is your response will tell you more about you than it will tell you about your partner. For example, if you confront the other woman or man before you face your partner, then your blame is being directed at the wrong person. And, there are a few things to think about before you investigate your spouse. What will the consequences be if you are proved wrong? How would you feel if your partner hired someone to spy on them?
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Lack of evidence
That said, there are times when hiring a private eye can do you a favor. Because, quite simply, you won’t be able to accuse anyone of anything if you don’t have evidence. Late nights home from work aren’t enough. And, if you accuse them straight away, they will just be more careful in the future if they are guilty.
If there is to be a confrontation, you have to have enough proof to back your theory up. Not only will it help their story crumble before their own eyes, but it will also stop you from ruining your relationship if you don’t have to. Without proof, accusations will just cause more rifts and weeks, months, and possibly years more of hurt.