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Lifestyle + Life Coaching | A Guide to Healing a Family Rift


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A rift in the family is the worst kind. Friends come and go all the time, but you’re tied to your family by blood forever. It’s not only best for the family but best for the soul that you heal a rift as soon as possible. Here’s how to do it in the most sensitive way possible:

Work Out What the Problem is

To heal a family rift you first need to work out what the problem is. Why has this rift started in the first place? You might think it’s for a number of reasons, but there is usually one core reason that you need to get to the bottom of in order to work out what it is.

Try to Understand the Other Person

The key to healing a family rift is trying to understand the other person. You may feel like you’re not in the wrong at all, but you need to try to see where they are coming from. Are they being hard on you because they care? Has it been one big misunderstanding? Take into account their personality type. You may not like the way they have said something to you, but to them it might be how they communicate.

Approach With Caution

Approach your family member with caution. You can send them a message to see if they would like to meet to discuss things after you feel things may have cooled off a bit. Be very careful to say things that they could react to. You definitely need to avoid using accusatory language.

Photo Credit | Healthy Lombard

Communicate Clearly

Communicating clearly is the key to healing all rifts. You can’t say things like ‘you made me feel’ as it’ll instantly put the other person on the defensive. You can say things like ‘I felt like this when this happened’. Don’t point the finger at them or put any blame on to them. Simply explaining how you feel with no accusatory language will make them understand you much better. They should even begin to sympathise with you.

Suggest Therapy

If this is a big rift or about something rather serious, it could be a good idea to suggest therapy. If you both wish to heal the rift but struggle to do so alone, therapy could be the key to talking again and working out your problems. Somebody who is impartial can help each of you see the other point of view and where you may be going wrong.

See Professionals

If this is a rift you can’t see healing any time soon and you have things to discuss, mediation may be your only option. Barna, Guzy & Steffen, LTD could be the key to helping you with any unfinished business.

Be Mindful of Children Caught in the Middle

If there are children caught in the middle, be mindful of getting them involved. They won’t fully understand what’s going on, and no burden should be placed on them. If they wish to see the family member or somebody related to them, it could be a good idea to work out a way this can happen.

Good luck!

charli_sig

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