No matter how you look at it, breakups suck. Whether you were the one to initiate the split or it was your partner who called time of your relationship, moving on from a breakup is never easy. After a breakup, it’s far too easy to fall into an unhealthy habit of Facebook stalking, shot taking, and sleeping with randoms. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone. Do these things and I’m sorry, but you’ll feel 100 times worse.
Getting over someone who you were once in love with isn’t easy. However, there are a few things that you can do to speed up the process allowing the wounds to heal more quickly. Even if you’re still in love with him and feel like you might want him back, getting over him is important. As doing this will give you a clear view of your relationship and how you actually feel about him.
Here’s everything that you need to know about getting over an ex and the best ways to go about it.
Allow yourself to be sad
Losing someone who you were once incredibly close to is never easy – saying goodbye hurts like crazy. It’s even worse if you live together as there’s all the stress of working out who will live where and, of course, splitting up your stuff. Breakups are messy and upsetting, so don’t be afraid to let yourself feel sad for a while.
You and your ex may not have been right for each other, but you’re allowed to feel sad about the fact you didn’t make it. Give yourself some time to feel sad – watch The Notebook, listen to Someone Like You on repeat, do whatever it takes to get your sadness out. Just make sure not to wallow for too long – set a time limit on your sadness and then try to get back to normality.
Establish a no contact rule
No matter how hard it is, do not contact your ex. In time, you may be able to be friends, but right now, the wounds are too fresh. If you talk to your ex, it will only make the breakup process even more difficult. To find out exactly why talking to your ex is a big no-no, check out this article ‘Why The No Contact Rule Is So Important After A Breakup’.
It can be hard not talking to someone you used to spend every day with, but trust me, it’s worth steering clear of them. Of course, the ‘no contact rule’ can also help to win your ex back. Even if you want to get back with your ex – a feeling that most people have after a breakup, it’s important to try and get over them first. That way, you can see how you truly feel about them. If, after a few weeks your feelings are just as strong, then you can start thinking about getting back together. For now, however, it’s best to focus on getting over them.
Be smart on social media
Stalking your ex-partner is a big no-no, and yet far too many of us do it after a breakup. Spending hours clicking through his old photos isn’t healthy; it will only make the breakup process more upsetting. Did you know that Facebook allows you to hide people on your friends list? Instead of blocking or unfollowing him, simply hide him from your newsfeed for a while. That way, you won’t have to see his updates or pictures and can focus on moving on, instead of cyberstalking him and every girl he’s in a picture with.
For breakups, social media can be a real killer. Seeing photos of your ex having a laugh and moving on can be soul destroying, especially when you’re still in love with him. If you keep watching his updates, you’ll find that it takes you twice as long to get over him. For now, hide his updates, and then in a few weeks when you’re feeling stronger, unhide them. Trust me, if you want to get over him, this is crucial.
One of the best ways to make yourself feel better is to vent. Get your closest BFF’s together and have a major venting session. Share all your feelings with the girls about your breakup, while sharing a bottle of wine and munching on chocolate. For breakup chat, alcohol and chocolate are definite must-haves.
Studies have shown that putting how you feel into words can reduce your upset and anger about a situation. So having a good old vent could be the answer to speeding up how quickly you can get over your ex. How about planning a fancy dinner or a night at a spa, instead of hitting up your local bars? The last thing you want when you’re still trying to move on is to bump into him in a bar.
Makeover your look
Make yourself feel good by going for a new look. Just make sure not to opt for anything too drastic as your emotions are going mad right now, and you may end up regretting a big change. However, a makeover – if done in a controlled way, can make you feel great about yourself.
Dye your hair a new color, paint your nails in a different shade, update your wardrobe with some new key pieces. Subtle updates like these will help you to feel confident and refreshed. It’s no secret that breakups can wreak havoc on your confidence, so finding ways to boost it is important. Get your self-esteem back by treating yourself to a few little luxuries that make you feel good. The better you feel in yourself, the easier you’ll find dealing with your breakup.
Breakups are always hard to deal with for everyone involved. If you’re the person who did the breaking up, you’ll feel both guilty and sad. If you were the one to get dumped, you’ll go through a whole range of emotions, from anger to despair. No matter what you want from your break up – to move on and find someone new or to eventually get back together with your ex, first you have to get over them. Yes, really! Take the advice above on board and you can make the process much easier for yourself.