Relationships are tricky old things aren’t they? Some relationships are meant to last just a few weeks while others blossom over time, lasting for years. I’m incredibly lucky as I have a wonderful partner and a happy, stable relationship. However, to get to where we are today it’s taken time and hard work.
Many of us make the mistake of thinking that the hard part is finding someone worth spending your time with, but that’s not true. The hard part is forming a happy, healthy, lasting bond, and making it through all the major relationship milestones. The first date, the first kiss, the first argument – you get the idea. Relationships are anything but easy, but the good ones are worth holding onto.
The first date
Whether you were friends first or complete strangers, first dates are always awkward. However, how you tell a first date with potential from a relationship that’s doomed from the start, is by how much you’re chatting. If after the initial awkward introductions, you chat non-stop and start to feel more comfortable with each other, that’s a good sign.
Your first kiss
This might have happened before your first date, on your first date, or sometime after, but whenever it happens it can evoke a lot of feelings. There’s excitement, lust, nervousness, confusion about whether you actually like them, and more.
When he calls you his girlfriend
The first time you hear him refer to you as his girlfriend is sure to send shivers down your spine. It’s exciting because that clarifies to you that he likes you just as much as you like him. It’s almost as if your new relationship status changes things and once again you’ve got a fresh start, a chance to have a new life. It’s silly, but that’s how new relationships make us feel – oh so happy.
The morning after your first sleepover
Oh, the butterflies! Waking up in his bed in his flat or with him curled up next to you at your house evokes a lot of emotions. There’s the happiness that he spent the night. Then there’s the fear of what he’ll think when he sees your makeup-free face and bedhead hair. There’s the worry of whether he wants to spend the day with you or whether he’d rather be somewhere else. If he spent the night, then the chances are he wants to spend the day together too, so don’t stress.
Saying “I love you” for the first time
Out of every relationship milestone, this has to be one of the most frightening. I mean, what if he looks at you like you’re mad? Or what if he stares awkwardly at his feet, turns red, and leaves? It’s scary putting your heart on the line, but if he says it back it’s worth it. Or, you could just wait for him to say it first…
That first serious fight
You’ve most probably had silly squabbles over who is cooking tea, but you may not have had a real fight before. Whatever the cause of your first serious fight, arguing is totally normal. A bit of screaming and shouting is good for the soul. Plus, it’s a great excuse for makeup sex! As long as you find a solution to whatever you’re arguing about and move past it, there’s nothing to worry about.
Realizing that the two of you have a future
Often, it’s not the big things that make you realise there’s the potential for a future with your partner, it’s the little things. Like the fact that each morning he wakes you up with a cup of coffee before jumping in the shower. Or the fact that no matter what, he puts you first. When the two of you chat about your wedding, and you say how you have to have personalised laser cut wedding invitations. And then he chips in with the type of food he wants, you know it’s the real deal.
Him asking you to move in together
The leases on both of your home’s run out around the same time, so it makes sense to move in together, he says. He might be being super casual about it but underneath his cool exterior, he’s most probably trembling with nerves. Moving in together is a big step, a really big step. Whatever his excuse for the two of you moving in together, if he’s asking to live with you, it’s because he really loves you and can see a future together.
When he utters those four little words and church bells ring
Whether it’s at your favourite restaurant or at sunset on a beautiful beach, when he utters those four little words the world stands still. Could he really want to marry me? If he’s asking, of course, he does!
Relationships come with all sorts of milestones, some good, some bad. What’s important is that if you love your partner, you find a way to get through each and every one.