How to Safely Collect Proof of Your Spouse’s Infidelity

Never confront a cheating spouse without proof. Without proof, it will be easy for them to deny your allegations or even make you look like a crazy, jealous spouse. Proof confirms your suspicions and makes it easier for you to confront a cheating spouse about the truth. It can also help if you decide to end the relationship or go to court.

Evidence collection is therefore the first and most important step when confronting a cheating spouse. However, it can be quite easy to destroy evidence or be legally liable in the process of collecting it. This can lead to the affair and your anguish to continue. In this article, we’ve listed how to safely collect the evidence that you need to prove infidelity:

Keep a Journal

Writing things down is an invaluable tool. Human memory can be faulty but being able to refer to your notes can help you when you are confronting your spouse, going through therapy, or a divorce proceeding.

Record their reported activities, schedules, places they went to, and people that they met. This will make it easier for you if you need to confirm their presence and actual activities.

Note down any unexplained absences and ask (do not confront) your spouse about those absences. Write down their responses. Cheating spouses will often change their reasons or cast doubts on your memory when confronted. A written record is handy to counteract such actions.

The journal or computer file and any evidence that you find should be secured and in a location that your spouse has no access to.

Gather Physical Evidence

Photos and love letters are the typical evidence needed but credit card statements and receipts can be used to prove infidelity. Credit card statements can be used to detect unusual purchases like meals when your spouse should be at work, expensive gift purchases, and increased fuel spending.

Receipts are quite handy if your spouse uses cash a lot. Receipts have the specific address where the purchase was made, making it easier to determine if the purchase was made near where your spouse was supposed to be. It’s worth following up if the store is out of the way for your spouse. For credit card receipts, check the partial credit card number – if it does not match your spouse’ credit card it may mean that they have a secret credit card account.

Other physical evidence to look for are secondary phones or sim cards, as well as credit cards that they didn’t tell you about. Your spouse’s bags, car, laundry, and other personal areas can be rich in evidence. Don’t forget to sort the garbage as they may have tried to dispose of any incriminating evidence.

Check Social Media and Other Electronic Evidence

Anything posted on social media is considered to be public, so you can check your spouse’s accounts and their friends for evidence. They or their friends may have posted photos, status updates, or even their location – allowing you to confirm that your spouse is where they are supposed to be. However, it is also possible use these posts to prove that your spouse is cheating.

If you share a computer, checking the browser history can give you clue on the sites that they visit. Pay attention to dating sites or social media and email providers where you don’t know they have an account. Don’t forget to check the Recycle Bin or Trash as they may have deleted files that can prove their infidelity.

Warning about Emails, Mobile Phones, and Other Personal Accounts

It is a common red flag of infidelity if your spouse suddenly becomes more protective of their email, personal computer, or phone. And it therefore may be a good idea to take a closer look at their email or social media account, or check their phone without their permission. Some people may even think it is all right to install keyloggers and spyware on their spouse’s devices or even on their shared computer. However, we personally cannot recommend doing so.

You can run afoul of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1965, which makes it illegal to access computers (including smart phones) without authorization. So hacking their accounts and installing spyware should not be done. While it may prove infidelity, it does potentially expose you to a lawsuit. Before any attempt to investigate your spouse’s computer or smartphone, it is a good idea to seek legal consultation as privacy and electronic laws vary by state.

Hire a Private Investigator

If you really want to confirm your suspicions and have peace of mind, a private investigator can be an option. Infidelity investigation is a common service and private investigators are skilled in uncovering infidelity – no matter how well the cheating spouse thought they covered their tracks.

Another benefit of hiring is a private investigator is that you can detach yourself from the investigation. Not only will this lessen your legal exposure, collecting evidence on your spouse’s cheating can be very emotionally draining and stressful.

Hiring a private investigator provides you with court admissible proof. What you do with that proof and how you deal with the infidelity will be for you to decide.


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