Lifestyle Personal Musings Relationships

Can We Finally Choose HAPPY, and Not Mediocre Bullshit?

It’s 1:30AM for me. I don’t know what time it is for you, but it’s 1:30AM in the world for me. And I don’t have time for this, but i’m going to make time for it. Because what the F@#K?

This’ll be a short one.

What is constituting as happiness these days? What’s the going rate? I want in.

We’ve all been conditioned to understand that when you’re happy, you’re happy, right? Hell, I am. Or I thought I was because now I’m a little bit on the tiny side of questioning it. But questioning it to an extent of levels and layers. What does HAPPY truly mean? And to keep it organized, let’s just scenario this topic as being relationship based; however this can go deeper into family/friendship life as well.

What TRULY makes a human being happy?

When you wake up in the morning, what do you do? Have a coffee/tea, or an alcoholic beverage? Text or call your person good morning? Race through the bathroom/kitchen and out the door with an effort to make it on time for work? What is your morning daily habit? And are you happy with it? Because a good, solid morning is what sets the foundation of our day if we’re being honest. Do you wake up gleaming because you’re in a safe place? Do you wake up gleaming because the universe is on your side? Do you wake up gleaming with the sunshine shining in your face? Do you squint or smile back? Do you wake up gleaming because life is giving whatever it needs to give and you in return are present, receiving every ounce of it?

Lord be a mediation because I don’t know where this is about to go.

…ahhh, It could be rambling, or it could be a message. I can’t be sure.

When we get into relationships, or relationships that we’ve been in for quite sometime, are we HAPPY? You can be happy in different aspects of the relationship, but are we TRULY happy? Most often, we are not. Especially when it comes to social media telling on ourselves. We are really good at posting pictures and videos showcasing our relationship with the goal of sharing with others. We showcase what we want the world to see; and I’m not knocking those whose special, most prized moments are in fact true, but 7/10 — they’re likely aren’t.

Both men and women stay in relationships for different reasons. Whether it’s comfort, history, child together, etc. But at some point, are we staying for ourselves, or for the other person and/or condition(s) that we’re in? I’m sure there is some form of happiness surrounding the atmosphere, I mean, you’re comfortable/stable, right? But, throughout the day, how do you feel? When you go home in the evenings, are you excited to see your person? Are you excited to tell them about your day and in reverse, learn about theirs? Are they a solid emotional component for you? Do you crave to cuddle up under them and ONLY them after a long day of bullshit? If all of your answers are a “YES, CHILE”, then you’re safe and can stop reading here.

All you others, keep reading. Is there a lack of emotional intelligence where you kind of live a lifestyle of convenience and not so much chemistry, compatibility and connection?


Have you at some point settled? Because I’m here to remind you that we only get one single life at this, regardless of convenience.

Obviously I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. Because too many of us are caught up in the motions of just living and not necessarily being HAPPY. And for me, that’s a problem. That’s the real pandemic if we want to throw a little political razzle dazzle into this.

And for goodness sake, since we’re on this topic already, do we effectively HEAL after heartbreak or breaking up in general? That’s another blog for another day.

Most often, men haven’t been loved properly which backfires into our daily lives as women. They simply haven’t. Is it our job to fix it? Nah, not really. But, it could be our job to give them something different. To show what true love IS and what could be. And vice versa. Hell, women aren’t loved properly either, but it’s because naturally we are nurtures, we always want to fix, fix, fix. We’ve got to stop trying to fix and just repair/mend. I mean, I guess that’s so called “fixing it”, but they also have to be readily to receive it. I’m using men as an example because obviously I’m a woman; ta-da! I’m also using men as an example because I may or may not be currently faced with this.

My LGBT community, you’re not off the hook with this one either.

In my eyes, I’ve always considered myself to love, and love wholeheartedly. If we’re keeping it buck, I probably did too damn much in my last relationship, and that’s okay. It set me up for my next person because I know my level of giving. I know my level of being a quality woman. When I love, I give it all that I can give. Whether it backfires on me or not (which in the past it has), I still remain to give all of myself; but was I happy? Was I truly happy?

$1000 bucks for anyone who can guess the answer.

At some point, if the happy ain’t happy’ing, then let go, heal and try again. The problem is that we stay far too longer than we should stay. And maybe we will always love that person in some shape or form, but sometimes we think that there might be some compatibility or potential, but in reality it’s probably just a waste of time. Find your person that’s on the same wavelength with you. Not above or below. It’s easier said than done, but F@#K; self-love and reassurance is pending and waiting for your arrival.

Life is all about CHOOSING. Choosing to stay, choosing to leave. Choosing to finally realize what makes you HAPPY. I was taught about making choices this week. Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing; and are you TRULY happy with that?

Choose happy this week, love y’all! xo